very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
