I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
