I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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