i was rollin on her like bob the builder
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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