Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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