I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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