So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
