NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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