After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
