Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
