I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
