I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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