Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
