If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
