i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
