how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
