I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
