If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
