After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize