how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
