The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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