how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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