Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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