I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
