he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
