More tranny stories later!
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
