I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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