We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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