She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
