I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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