did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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