What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
