Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
