I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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