There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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