I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
