u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
