How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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