she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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