i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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