OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
