Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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