I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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