I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
