Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
