after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
