If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
