So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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