So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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