so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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